PURIM BREAKING: Donald Trump Converting to Judaism
He hopes to be a real Jews in time fir Passover.
Its official! Donald Trump is converting to Judaism. And he may even choose to move to Israel after he completes the process.
People should not be so surprised by this news. After all, his daughter Ivanka converted when she married Jared Kushner. And as President Donald Trump made a number of pro-Israel moves like recognizing Jerusalem as Israel’s capitol.
Unlike most religions, however, Judaism does not proselytize nor seek converts. In fact it discourages would be converts. So Trump had to prove he was serious about this and was only accepted to a conversion program by a rabbi after he was he was rejected three times.
Right now, while waiting for the final steps of conversion, Donald Trump has already begun to keep kosher and observe the Sabbath. He can already read and write in Hebrew, and is studying the Tora in its original language. Trump says he is looking forward to celebrating his first Purim and hopes to have completed his conversion in time to celebrate his first Passover as a Jew with his family next month.
Israeli law allows all Jews – including converts – the right to come and live there. And one does not need to be born an Israeli citizen to serve in any political office there. Even naturalized citizens can be President or Prime Minister of Israel. And Trump has expressed interest in starting his own political movement there.
Many observers say that he could win as many as 30 seats in the Knesset should he run and these days that is enough to become the prime minister. He recently promised to build a new wall around the country to protect it from illegal immigration and said that the Arab nations will pay for it. When it was pointed out to him that it already has such a wall, Trump said that he would make it the highest wall in the world, one where Jews from around the world would come to from now on to worship. He also wants to build a casino on the Temple Mount.
President Trump is already calling Israeli political leaders like Yair Lapid and Benny Gantz losers.
Reports are in that he has held talks with local Israeli politicians and explained to them that only he can make the best final peace deal for Israel.
And now word has come that Trump expects to change the Jewish religion itself. He wants to make it great again by draining the swamp and doing away with all those pesky modern regulations.
New breaking news! Donald Trump drops plans for converting to Judaism after he hears about circumcision. Says he never really planned on converting and called all such reports fake news.
Keeping with Jewish tradition at Purim time, we hope you believed every word of the above.
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